Do you know that 8 out of 10 people suffer from low self-esteem?.
Steps to build up your self-esteem.
Have you thought about why you procrastinate things so often? Why do you never finish something that you planned ahead of time? Why are you always stuck, same place, same attitude, same problems?
Very likely, it is due to your low self-esteem. Success in life relies on our self-esteem. It is hard to believe in ourselves when our previous life was full of disappointments, lack of support or too much pressure. Most of us learn how to achieve goals rather than learning to confront failure and vulnerability. These two seem to be the enemies when it comes to reaching our dreams. We are so mistaken…
Self-esteem is created by assuming our condition as humans. As humans, we learn by making mistakes. Can you imagine the first human on earth setting fire? One thing that person learnt first was to tolerate frustration. Have you ever tried to set fire without a firelighter? frustrating, isn't it?
All of us sometimes break, cry, get scared, feel anger, frustation, even love makes us feel weak. All of us are vulnerable, and if you want to get free of your fears, you must confront this fact because self-esteem begins here.
Self-esteem is the estimation of your own abilities and the appreciation you have of your own self.
You must love yourself the way you are. Sounds easy, but 85% of the population (Rubbino, 2020) suffer from low esteem. Likely, out of 10 people you meet, 8 of them are not feeling confident about themselves. If you think about it makes sense; why only a few people succeed in life, don't you think?
I have felt unconfident so many times, being an immigrant, believing that I don't speak well enough, I don't look good enough. I have worked with people stuck in a toxic relationship or job because they believed that they were not good enough to find anything better or were so scared to make a change and still be happy.
The potential inside you is there, but your little esteem does not let it flourish.
Tell me, what do you think about yourself? Do you doubt your self-potential? It is hard for you to say no? Do you put yourself in second place? Is it odd to receive a compliment from you? If your answer is YES, you need to work on your esteem.
The first part of self-esteem is self-confidence. Do you feel anxious about taking up new responsibilities at work? You think you will fail? Or you are not smart enough to be equal to the task? Everything is about perception; it is not the mirror; it is you.
And the second part is self-compassion. It is essential how you treat yourself when you achieve something but more importantly, how you treat yourself when you fail. Remember, we are so badly educated about tolerating frustration. Failing means growing up. If we do not make mistakes, we never change. It is not about overstating your position over others; it is more about accepting yourself as you are and treating yourself with kindness no matter what.
Both self-confidence and self-compassion work together to build up your self-esteem. Maybe you not neccesarily need to work on both, perhaps it is only a part.
But,
Where to start? This tips do not mean a solution, but at least will help you to clarify your path and start somewhere.
Awareness, wake up, look into your inner self, check out your beliefs, pre concepts, and perceptions.
Acceptance. Accept yourself the way you are; without judgement, do not compare yourself to others. Then, decide what you want to improve and go towards it.
Affirmation. Take together all the harmful and toxic beliefs and throw them out of your head. Then, embrace your superpower, your abilities, the best things about you.
Appreciation. Once you appreciate yourself, you can appreciate others. This is the way.
Attention. Be mindful of what you focus on. Instead of putting attention on fears, doubts, change the focus to your dreams, your positive thoughts. Energy attracts energy.
So stop waiting for someone else to rescue you. If you doubt yourself, what can you expect from others? You have control of your life.
If you need help...
Evelyn
Reference : Rufino, J. (2020) The importance of self-esteem. Research
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